Subject A36 by Teri Polen

Author:Teri Polen [Polen, Teri]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Black Rose Writing
Published: 2019-12-10T00:00:00+00:00

15 - ASHER

On the outside, I appeared to be the same person, but it was a part I’d been playing for over seventeen years. It was effortless. Inside, I was a complete mess. A whirling vortex of doubt, insecurity, and questions. But most of all, fear. No matter what Brynn said to reassure me, the vision of her mangled body in our bed refused to be driven from my mind.

Knowing my parents had hidden things from me churned up some uncomfortable feelings. Maybe it was wrong, but my short years with them were a part of my life I didn’t want to dismantle and investigate. I wanted to keep those idyllic memories of my family preserved and intact. My younger self had blind faith in Dad’s order to abandon my sisters that day, even though I may not have agreed with him. Parents kept their children safe. Sure, I’d questioned his instructions to continue on without them, but trusted he had good reasons behind his decision. As the years went by and I matured, the logic for leaving Cami and Elsa never presented itself. Questioning that action felt like a disloyalty to my father, so I’d stored it away and avoided examining it too closely.

Now, I knew why. All these years, guilt had turned my focus to what my family had faced after I’d run. Had the soldiers taken my parents and sisters? Killed them in our front yard? Stripped their coveted genes for those who could pay the price? When Patrick and Anna searched for them the next day, there was no trace of their bodies nor any indication they’d been killed on site. No blood, no bodies. Nothing.

With The Colony searching for me, my presence at the compound put everyone in danger. My friends and family—I couldn’t bear it if they were injured, or worse, because of me. Especially knowing I was the cause of my parents’ deaths.

I closed my eyes and heard Dad’s wavering voice going over the instructions for the first time. His eyes were intense with frantic desperation. It was obvious even considering being separated from his children caused him crushing pain. He and mom had loved us all so much. Family was the most important thing to them, along with our safety. That’s why he’d insisted on the drills. He’d known someday we’d be found, so our time together was limited and precious.

He’d promised to come back for us. I’d learned that promises were like a beacon in a storm—things to cling to and place our hopes in but could be easily destroyed by the chaos surrounding them.

After we’d returned to the compound, I’d spilled everything to Brynn while lying in bed that night. Our room was our safe zone, and in there, we only spoke the truth to each other. After our time apart, we’d made promises. No secrets, no pretending. No trying to change each other. That time without her was a prison of my own making, a place I never wanted to visit again.

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